Just got home from Denise's place... Matt, Ziig, Pam, Denise, Justin and me were there to discuss about the chalet that we'll be having next week. I didn't contribute much to the discussion... :P Denise was showing me her neoprints and photos. There were some of her as well. Those pictures got me thinking again. Made me feel somewhat foolish. I don't know anything about her!! Feel really stupid and useless. Maybe I'm tired, maybe its because schools been hectic or because I haven't spent time with God for quite a while. I dunno.

Let me share about tuesday night. Need to get it off my chest. After the movie with Lynette and Laura. We sent Laura to the bus-stop behind Orchard MRT... Just when Laura was leaving, I turned and saw Eileen with another guy. She hadn't seen me and immediately I focused on her expression and her hands. She wasn't holding hands with him but she was smiling quite happily. Thats when I started to feel a very tight squeeze in my heart. It hurt a lot. I gestured to Lynette but she already saw her and she said, "Isn't that...?"
I said yes.

Thats when she saw us. Thats when the happy smile turned to one of embarrassment. I have this feeling that I wasn't the reason why she was embarrassed. It was because of my sister. Lynette gave one of her 'I'm not pleased with what you're doing' smiles and quickly went down the stairs. I continued walking at my usual pace and smiled. But I couldn't look at her. I didn't want her to see the pain in my eyes. Observed the floor. Had to whisper a prayer to God... Thats when the tightness was released. But there was this sore feeling all the way home... Like after having a cramp. Feeling that cramp again right now. This is when all the questions start pouring in again. I don't want this. Going to spend time with God now. Withdrawal symptoms.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
You've forgotten the words I love you, each memory that we share
You ignore every star above you, I can't realise that you ever cared
You've changed
You're not the angel I once knew, no need to tell me that we're through
It's all over now you've changed